Being a “Healer” Part One
What feels like a hundred years ago…. (two decades)….. I walked out of American Ballet Rehearsal Studios at 890 Broadway fed up, disillusioned, and in all kinds of pain.
I had woken up that morning frozen in my bed, unable to move my body. I was having a panic attack. There was so much BS going on inside that company and even though I had a great career trajectory and at least one influential person on my side, the manipulation, mental contortion, and sensation of powerlessness had taken its toll.
I made it into work that day, but after company class, I went to hide in the physical therapy room. Sitting in the corner, full of fear and rage, all of a sudden something came over me…
A power WAY beyond myself just sort of showed up – and I found myself almost in a trance state – standing up, picking up my bags, walking to the locker room, changing, and escorting myself right out of the building…
I stood there on the sidewalk of 19th and Broadway taking a breath of freedom. People walked around me in their usual NYC importance. I looked to my right – should I walk?… I looked to my left into oncoming traffic and flung my hand into the air. A cab swooped over immediately. I slipped inside the car, disappearing from the only world I’d ever known – never to return again.
To this day, I can’t explain the faith and bravery that guided me out the door, but in the months following i kept hearing this voice inside in my head… and it kept saying;
“Life doesn’t have to feel this way”
I decided to believe it and without knowing it consciously, I began to live a life of healing. I became willing to trust something bigger than me and I began the search for true love.
I have found Love, and lost it again many times since… but in the seeking I’ve learned the Truth of Love which is, it’s always there, inside of you. And, the moment you start looking for it – or thinking you’ve found it outside of yourself it will get lost again…
…Because it only exists within you and then shows itself through you – into your manifest reality.
But the manifest world and your reality will also show you a lot of other things, such as collective shadow, personal shadow, and stored data in the subconscious (that we don’t know is there until we’re experiencing misery yet again in our waking reality)….
So here’s my message to you for today:
Your Pain is your Portal to Growth — it’s your special and unique opportunity to align and receive.
There is nothing that has happened to you that you aren’t supposed to be able to heal from. No heartbreak you can’t mend, no betrayal you can’t forgive, no shame you can’t release. Sure, it’s not necessarily easy. If it were easy we’d be living in an enlightened world. But healing, no matter psychological, physical or emotion IS spiritual evolution and life mastery. The deeper the healing the more profound your awakening…
The more grotesque the wound, the more radically epic your experience of growth will be!
And isn’t that why you’re here? … To experience things that will open you up to your potential?
Last time I checked, it was.
You’re not taking anything material with you, but you certainly are taking your soul and spirit’s health and wellness with you!!
I’ll tell you more about my rugged, resistant and raw journey to accepting my gifts as a healer soon.
Thank you for being here with me… I love you,
Faye
